One weekend, I invested in 2 amazing days learning & reminding myself of new & “known” practices of living a life of truth, authenticity, health and wellness… I was both mentally and physically exhausted, yet completed inspired and motivated to take on further steps in my journey of personal growth and empowerment.
With this experience, came a conscious personal experience I wish to share, because I truly believe that through my vulnerability, some of you may learn and growth in your own journeys… my experiences and opportunities are as much for me as for you, because as I learn and grow, I am lovingly able to support and nurture you through your growth…
I was about to speak in answer to a question- not as a facilitator of the weekend, but a participant- and my conscious response became unconscious and disconnected. As I was about to start speaking, the ego took over through the emergence of the Imposter Syndrome many of us experience, creating doubt about my “capacity” to assist and contribute any more value to what the beautiful souls speaking already had. This was very unexpected, as I am quite comfortable speaking to groups, and I was therefore unprepared. So as I was opening my mouth to step into my heart space and share my response, my ego shut me down and I started an internal dialogue with myself and in doing so, became disconnected from my self, my truth and my consciousness. I have no idea what actually came out of my mouth, but I know it was not what and how I wished to say what I wanted to say, completely opposite to who and what I wish to be, and totally validating and fuelling my ego’s beliefs about the lack value of my knowledge.
What I actually wanted to honour here today, is the response that I wanted to give, and to highlight, through my own vulnerabilities and my own learnings, the power of our mind and how that saying “Whether you think you can and you think you can’t, you are correct” is 100% true. I stepped into the fear and doubt and mis-alignment with self; resulting in the exact opposite of who and what I wish to be.
In recognising anything within yourself that no longer resonates and you wish to change, that is where start; where you give yourself permission to step into that space and honour yourself for this acknowledgement, for this awareness that you are not where you want to be. For this hurt/ pain/ discomfort you are experiencing. Step into space from a place of love, with honour and respect for self; and just know that any step forward from here is growth. There is no right or wrong. There are no “shoulds” and “musts”. People are different… From a place of love, embrace who and what you are, what you are doing to achieve what you want to and need to achieve. We don’t have to do anything, but obviously there are consequences, and as parents, we feel the pressures, the “musts” of responsible adulting such as working to pay bills put a roof over our children’s’ heads and food on the table. As single mothers, this “masculine” energy falls to us to do it all… Embracing it, and acknowledging that there is a going to potentially be a strong contrast between the masculine and feminine and who you want to be and where you are, know that there is so much growth and opportunity in journey of making choices… knowing what small changes can I make to embrace the feminine, while accepting and allowing for the fact that I have to step into my masculine in some capacity in certain circumstances… it’s that conscious awareness that brings us back into alignment and balance as we move through the different situations and circumstances.
This whole concept around loving and valuing self, according to your values and being aware of the different situations matching and aligning with your values, is key. The ego is one major barrier to any of us succeeding at anything in life. The presence of our ego is not the heightened view of ourselves that we might hold, but rather the “inner voice” in our mind, separating our hearts from the universe, instilling fear and doubt into our mind. The voice of distinct fear and doubt keeps us disconnected from our truth, and prevents us from trusting and being.
When we start questioning who we are and where we are at, rather than becoming overwhelmed, self-judging and critical (hahaha note to self), allow yourself, give yourself permission to step into that space of love, of knowing, of trust- for yourself for your journey. Know that where you are is exactly where you are meant to be, and where you are going is all the changes, conscious (& unconscious) choices you make and all the experiences the universe brings to you along the way…
Own where you are at, own where you go- allow and embrace the wholeness of who you are… from a place of loving nurturing feminine. Maybe I said this, but definitely not in the way I wished to. However, all experiences are opportunities to learn, and I want to highlight this because that is what this weekend represented for me- a time and space of learning. And nutrition is the one thing I choose to now focus on for myself and my family, to better our health and wellness.
However, THIS lesson, THIS reminder was probably the most profound… stop comparing yourself to others! You have a valuable message (no matter who you are)! You are valued! Own and trust and do what you do. Love and accept and embrace all of who are- good and bad, good days, bad days… you cannot have the good without the bad- that hurt, pain, discomfort… WITHOUT PAIN AND VULNERABILITY, THERE IS NO GROWTH… All these pain points, all these challenges, all these obstacles- they are what make us grow. They are what are motivating us and driving us… that is our journey… EMBRACE it… no particular direction, theme and way of doing it. We are all on our own journey. By embracing it, knowing it… love and support yourself through it… Reach out for the support you might need. Reach WITHIN for the support you HAVE- masculine and feminine- that you will need…
“The soul Self is the alignment of the Soul, ego-mind and body, with the soul in charge. Our soul is always powerful, learning and wise. Therefore it is the ego-mind and body that must be balanced”.
(http:// soulselfliving.com)